I Can't Make This Stuff Up

Compare and contrast.

The Philosophy Of Law

Setting: on the phone with the Boyfriend
Scenario: The Boyfriend and I have a special place in our hearts for the National Postal Museum. I called their special events coordinator to see about having our wedding reception there.

Me: They don't hold events unless you are a non-profit or corporation.
The Boyfriend: Oh, man!
Me: All the Smithsonian museums are the same, the woman said. So that's that. Unless you want to make us and our wedding into a 501(c)?
The Boyfriend: I could do that! Oh, wait. No I can't. I went to Yale. But my Dad could do it for us!

Because he went to a law school that taught real life applications of the law.

A Good Year

Last Saturday, the Boyfriend and I sat down with the priest at the church where I want to get married. He filled out a questionnaire with us each separately. (No, it wasn't the FOCCUS test if you know what that is; this was more preliminary).

Sample questions:
Are you currently married to someone else?
Are there any reasons why you can't get married?
Are there any reasons why you can't have children?
Is anyone forcing you to do this?*

We were also asked how long we have known each other, and I responded "since 1996". Fr. wouldn't accept that as an answer. So I said "Fine, 2004".

Our answers were kept a secret. Until last night when I said to the Boyfriend "Did you know that Fr. wouldn't let me say that I've known you since 1996?" And the Boyfriend said "Yeah, he wouldn't let me say that either."

That sent me into uncontrollable giggles.

*I wanted to say, "YES!"**. But the priest didn't take that as a joke. So "no" was recorded on the questionnaire.

**Their names are: Katie, Bradley, Mum and Dad.

PrettyLittleMess Product: Personalized Pens

Mere days before Christmas, Ms. Melanie received two job offers. I was over the moon ecstatic for her.

I had always wanted to give her the gift of personalized pencils for her classroom. Given the timing of her employment, I couldn't order pencils to present to her at Christmas. Instead, I recalled this tutorial and created personalized pens.

I did a few things different than the tutorial:

1. I used the dimensions in the tutorial for the paper pieces to create a template in Word. I created text boxes in that size, typed "Ms. Graves" and added backgrounds and colors. That meant I had everything for all the pens on one sheet of paper and personalized!

2. I tried using double sided tape, but it was kind of a fail. So I used a trusty UHU glue stick.

This also ended up being the only Christmas gift actually delivered on Christmas Day since the USPS failed to deliver my package from Virginia on time.

Pretty Packaging: 2010 Calendars

The calendars themselves were a Zero Dollar project, so I was definitely not spending any money on the packaging.

At my office, we FedEx and UPS a fair amount of documents. About halfway through last year, I started collecting the brown paper backsides from the airbills. An airbill is what you slip your shipping label into and stick on your package. Below is one for your reference:

Of course I looked like a freak with a stack of brown paper slips on my desk. But I told everyone I hated to see them go to waste and was sure I'd find a use for them.

Thus, the calendar wrapping was born.

For each calendar, one of the larger (UPS) brown paper backsides was used.

I trimmed it to fit the height of the calendar, wrapped it around all 12 pages and secured it in the back with a brown sticker from my stash.

Here is where the only expense came in, the new PrettyLittleMess Product stamp. I ordered this from the stationery store in the ground floor of my building. They do engraving for the White House . . . and now stamps for my little projects. The stamp was $15.

I tied a piece of bakers twine around the package to keep the pages enclosed in the wrapping. The tag was made using a manila folder, corner rounder and hole punch. I already owned the tree stamp and ink.

The literal definition of "brown paper packages tied up with string".

Just a few of my favorite free things.

PrettyLittleMess Product: Calendar Gifts

Like last year, my co-workers received a calendar from me as a holiday gift. I tackled the design this year instead of buying from Etsy, since I took both an Adobe class and inherited a MacBook in 2009.

It's a pretty simple design, using two types of Rockwell font. I downloaded the Sketch Rockwell for free online. It added visual interest with no additional labor on my part.

Four months were printed on each page . . .

. . . then cut into fourths.

Since most people were receiving their second Pretty Little Mess calendar this year, I didn't have to make as many covered bull clips. I made the necessary few using some scraps (literally scraps, you know how I do it) of Martha Stewart Crafts paper that was in my stash.

Look how the sketch hash marks match?

The final product.

And in action on my bulletin board at work, shot taken by my new BlackBerry(!!!)

Up next: calendar Pretty Packaging

Inside A Relationship

Setting: At Target, as I try to decide what I can afford out of the lotion/skincare aisle. They didn't have my cheap face scrub, so I was deciding between pricey face products and something new and shiny, yet completely unnecessary.

The Boyfriend: *points to the face scrub* Leave the gun, *points to the $10 foot cream* take the cannoli.

* * *

Setting: Watching Giada make pancakes, while making breakfast myself

Me: She just made boxed pancake mix 400 times more complicated by adding mascarpone cheese, vanilla and almond extract, plus almond paste like it was chocolate chips! All to a boxed mix. That's too much.
The Boyfriend: I wonder how you would make pancakes from scratch . . . I guess you would have to grind the wheat . . .
Me: Get out of my kitchen.

* * *

Setting: Discussing a friend's search for a wedding dress

The Boyfriend: What about J.Crew? She doesn't like any of their dresses?
Me: No, they are a little too plain for her.
The Boyfriend: Ah! That's what I like about them; they are simple.
Me: You are adorable.